Listening to parents in general talk about stages and competencies is interesting. The discussion is even more interesting when you have children with Autism. When you have a child with Autism, they don’t develop at an even level.
Typical children don’t develop at an even level either, but with a child with Autism the spread is so much bigger. Then when you add into it what peers might be doing it becomes even a larger spread. That's part of the reason why stages and competencies seem like strange terminology, to me at least.
What a lot of parents get to at some point is that it is ok to be at so many stages and competencies, just different. Sometimes it is a struggle for some of us parents (meaning me!) to get to that point where it was ok.
When my oldest daughter with Autism can tell I am upset, but cannot tie her own shoe I am not surprised any more. I gave up being frustrated or even worried about what other people thought about it too. What do ya'll think? Do you thing in terms of stages and competencies?